How to Be Alone : If You Want To, and Even If You Don't
by Moore, Lane







Emergency Contact Left Blank
1(12)
Please Just Be a Good Person So I Can Finally Be Someone Who Has Friends
13(20)
Maybe Someone Else Will Love Me and That Will Fix Everything
33(18)
Now You Get to Be An Adult, Even Though You Were Always an Adult. Good Luck!
51(16)
I've Always Relied on the Kindness of Strangers, but, Like, in a Sad Way
67(12)
I Liked Dating You Better in My Head
79(24)
What If This Is as Good as It Will Ever Get: Settling and You!
103(10)
So Your Family Dictates Your Romantic Future? What a Fun Punishment!
113(6)
Babies Babysitting Babies
119(12)
"Just a Few Notes for Our New Babysitter!"
131(4)
Am I the Last Hopeless Romantic on Earth?
135(10)
TV Couples Who Made Me Believe Love Is Supposed to Be Better Than This
145(10)
Happy Holidays to Everyone but You, You Lonely Weirdo
155(16)
All This Pain Must Be Worth It Because You're Supposed to Be My Soul Mate
171(16)
How to Be Alone
187(24)
Acknowledgments211


Recounts the author's life experiences living and being alone, from living in her car as a teenager to spending the holidays solo, detailing how she never relinquished her identity as a hopeless romantic along the way.





Moore has been named one of the most influential indie comedians of the decade, making a name for herself as a writer for The Onion, as the sex and relationships editor of Cosmopolitan, and as creator and host of Tinder Live!, a stand-up comedy show wherein Moore matches and interacts with other users of the infamous dating app in front of a nightly audience. In this scrappy collection of personal essays, Moore opens up her psyche and personal life for fans to relate to. The title references the underlying theme of every piece, that survival is possible even without any kind of family or support system. Moore is spare with the details of her childhood, emphasizing the weight of her trauma rather than the specifics of it. She explains how to survive the holidays, how to screen a mate, and how to accept love as someone who grew up without it. The essays are whip-smart, pithy, and full of an honest, conversational charm that sets Moore apart. Copyright 2018 Booklist Reviews.





One woman's quest for companionship in a culture progressively geared toward isolation.In her first book, about dealing with one's own solitude, Moore—the Onion writer, former sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, and creator of the comedy show Tinder Live!—doesn't compile reams of statistics, comparative studies, or clinical evidence. Rather, she takes readers on a playful ride through her life, examining relationships and nonrelationships alike as she both actively engaged in and passively avoided assuaging that aching search for friendship and love. Swinging from the euphoria of newfound friendship to the despairing trenches of love lost, each chapter becomes a foray into universally themed experiences for women of all ages and sexual persuasions—e.g., "Please Just Be a Good Person So I Can Finally Be Someone Who Has Friends," which details the adolescent exploits with her friends and the confusion of teen gender roles and intimacy between girls. In "I Liked Dating You Better in My Head," Moore explores a long-term romance with a man that ended up unraveling into a textbook co-dependency in which the couple was in love with future possibilities rather than the empty reality of now. Moore's fast-clip wit, hilarious allegories, and conversational prose knock down the uncomfortably sharp edges of facing aloneness. Comparing her own life to scientist Harry Harlow's monkey love experiments, Moore teases, "I have always identified with the kind-of-dying monkeys who technically had food, but desperately wished they had softness and care too." Later, in a brief manifesto of women's romantic needs, she asks, "why did we stop wanting dinner and a movie and maybe flowers?....When did we start thinking that courtship was too time-consuming and everything romantic comedies waxed on about was just a dumb fairy-tale concept, instead of our expectations for romantic love? I'm tired of pretending I'm cool with whatevs. I'm tired of p r etending that laziness can replace thoughtfulness and still be acceptable to me." An irreverent, candidly introspective exploration of toiling with loneliness that will leave readers feeling not so alone. Copyright Kirkus 2018 Kirkus/BPI Communications. All rights reserved.






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